So, rowing's finally over for the season, and I can gt back to updating here... Yay, I suppose...

OH! Stargate: Universe started! This makes me glad. I love how they're mixing it up with the music; I wanted them to start playing "It's the End Of the World as We Know I" (Great Big Sea remix, of course) all through Atlantis. I'm not sure I like Dr. Rush. I feel like I should because he's Scottish, but I just can't.

They're also remaking V, which originally aired as a TV show in 1985 and was based off of a miniseries by the same name. Now they've got Morena Baccarin in it (Inara from Firefly and Adria in Stargate: SG1 as well as others I don't know about) who is probably the sexiest thing to happen to sci-fi in a decade as the main villain. Umm, woopidooday?

Doctor Who of course came out with 'The Waters of Mars' just last week; the plot was a bit iffy, but the dialogue and subplot were killer. I'm liking the Ood being beings of supreme knowledge, and the Doctor finally realizing he can do what he wants, when he wants and really not having to take any licks because of it. The new, power mad Doctor will be entertaining for a few episodes. And the 'coming soon' sneek-peek with The Master? I though he was dead, and look forward to the explanation on how he's really, really not.

Well, word on the street was last weekend, fun times. I got Gaiman's Death: Time of Your Life graphic novel, saw a couple of zines, almost bought a Robin Hood comic, lost most of my stuff. Also, I read at one of the panels. Here's my piece:
( Candy )</div>

Just finished reading Howl's Moving Castle (Diana Wynne Jones, if you didn't know). I must admit, I forgot how awesome it was. But I think I liked movie Calcifer better than book Calcifer (Totally worth the 3 hour bus ride to the theater). And I missed Wales very much.

Speaking of Wales and Welsh men, I can't help but notice how similar the family dynamic are between Howl's family, and Ianto Jones from Torchwood are. Both with sisters, a niece, a nephew and a mostly absent husband (absent screen-time absent, not divorced/ran away with favorite hooker absent), as well as being well educated and seemingly doing nothing productive with their lives.

In related news, I just won the internet. There don't seem to be any stories about Ianto and Howl knowing each other in anyway.
What do I win?

GARRRH! I can't bring myself to read any books NOT by Diana Wynne Jones; read A House of Many Ways in around four hours- that book is the size of Order of the Phoenix! I'm actually twitching by this point. I have a feeling this won't go away until I re-read the whole Dalemark Quartet (Have read 1 and 3, can get 4, can't find 2.) And, I just figured out Hexwood is Sci-fi! How did I not remember that (when I read it 5+ years ago...)

Whatever, here's some poetry; try not to barf on your keyboard.

So, I just got back from seeing the new Harry Potter movie (Like, just-just, which makes me think I have no life, though I'm fairly certain I've know that for quite some time.) and it was Brilliant. It was like the book, but -get this- sans ANGST! The angst was the only thing that made the book awful. And, not only was there no angst, but it was funny. Enough awkward silences to make the Pope edgy.

And Bellatrix! She was wonderful! Words cannot describe the glory that I could not imagine. And Blaise Zambini was serious eye candy.

Also, Dumbledore had the single best line in all of Potter-world: "Well, being me has its privileges." Along with Draco defending his pimp cane: "It's not a cane, it's a walking stick!"

Torchwood is over... Cap'n Jack will never perv around the hub again

I was so scared (but not really) when I heard what the 456 were doing to the children and why... All in all, it's just wrong.

Wrong how the show ended (and did I see a stolen scene from 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' in the end?)
Wrong how many people died.
Wrong who died anyway.
Wrong how much Jack loved Ianto and Ianto loved Jack and then Ianto had to go and die.
Wrong how the aliens were intergalactic druggies.

Well, as a writer, I google stuff. I google plenty. I google to my heart's content! And, as anyone who has ever used the internet in their life should know, you can find some weird stuff there. So, I humbly present to you, the best writing advice I've found on the 'web.

1) Learn standard English or forget about writing novels. Wut R u tlkng abut? I cn reed anythng! I cn wrtte anythng! Fukc u!

2) The probability a book is good goes down with the number of words made up by the author (Illustrated in comic/graph form HERE)

3) Accept the sad reality that your fanfiction, no matter how good it is, will never, ever be published as a "real" story. Fact: most of that fanfiction isn't even good anyway.

4) Readers don't like to try and decipher a name. Thank you anonymous wikihow writer! Has anyone ever tried reading Eragon here? My Gods, I actually have to write those names down and still pronounce them wrong. Can you read the name out loud without two or three practice tries? Can everyone else? If not, congratulation! You've just won a trip to any editor's rejection pile around the country!

5) The first draft of anything is shit. Or, if you're a perfectionist like me, all drafts and good copies are shit, but they're considerably less shitty than the one that preceded it. Hey, it's a system.

So, I watched a movie the other day. You might have heard of it, went by the name of "Knowing". The only movie I have ever watched were putting aliens in it made it WORSE. It started out fine, thriller with a dash of sci-fi, then it went drama with a hint of slasher, finally, it ended sci-fi with drama and romance. The ad never showed aliens or spaceships; it led me to believe that the only science stuff was how ONE person could tell the future.

The next day, I watched a pokemon movie - "Pokemon: Destiny Deoxys" to be precise. It also involved aliens. Guess which one was better.

So, I seem to be having a week of trying to out-stupid myself. Observe:

At the Aquarium with some friends, standing in front of the bat enclosure.
Me: Bats, the pigeons of the sky.
Pause
Bri: Aren't pigeons the pigeons of the sky?
Me: Yeah, I realized that about half a second after I said it...

Honestly, that's right up there with " There is no 'I' in 'stupid', but there is a 'u'" comment from the week I had  no sleep.

On another note, I'm back on Neopets. Is it just me, or is neopets getting easier? I mean, I've been on for one week, gotten 7 codestones, found a map piece on the floor, been given another map piece and gotten a Fountain Faerie quest.

A testament to my nerdy-ness: If you go into my browsing history the three most common sites are Wikipedia, Neopets and LiveScience.com.

And, I JUST saw the add for Stargate: Universe; I can't put into words how utterly stoked I am.

My list of the week, innit lovely?

Eleanor Rigby ~ The Beatles

Eleanor Rigby, died in a church
and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt
From his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

In the Year 2525 ~ Zager and Evans

In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lie
Everything you think, do and say
Is in the pill you took today
...
In the year 5555
Your arms hangin' limp at your sides
Your legs got nothin' to do
Some machine's doin' that for you
...
In the year 9595
I'm kinda wonderin' if man is gonna be alive
He's taken everything this old earth can give
And he ain't put back nothing

What Sarah Said ~ Death Cab for Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
...
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me
...
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

Hallelujah ~ Rufus Wainright

She tied you to a kitchen chair,
she broke your throne, she cut your hair,
and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
...
Maybe there's a God above,
and all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And its not a cry you can hear at night,
its not somebody who's seen the light,
its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

The Cat Carol ~ Meryn Cadell

She curled herself 'round her helpless friend,
Protecting him from the cold.

When Santa came by near the end of the night,
the reindeer started to cry.
They found the cat lying there in the snow,
and they could see that she had died.

They lifted her up from the frozen ground,
and placed her into the sleigh.
It was then they saw the little mouse wrapped up,
she had kept him warm in her fur.

"Oh thank you Santa for finding us!
"Dear cat wake up we are saved!"
..."I'm sorry mouse but your friend has died,

Professor X teaches Harry Potter occlumency.

This post correlates to the theory that smart, imaginative people are inherently moronic.

My list of the week. A personal favorite of mine as well. In no particular order, here they are:

1) Department of Redundancy Department
    Goal in life: Work there

2) Contains gay homosexuals who like men.
   Really, if you haven't gotten the point across by now, the person who this is aimed at should have died at birth. I found it while trolling the internet for good original stories to read; I considered this one, but it seemed a bit romance-y for me (If I haven't mentioned it yet, I find all non-creepy romance boring in the extreme. Read 'Sleep Pale Sister' by Joanne Harris and you'll find out why I could never go back even if I wanted to.) This was in the 'warning' section. I laughed so hard.

3) Redundancy truck mobile car
    That's what I'm going to name my pickup truck when I move out to Ireland and buy a sheep far.

4) Congruent Triangles are Congruent
    Me, shamelessly massacring innocent math terms.

5) The computer systems on Atlantis
    If you don't get this joke then you need to watch more Stargate

6) Crimson Red
   Will now remain forever as a personal favorite of mine.

7) A.M in the morning
   This one makes me cry inside

8) Begin to proceed
   This is beginning to get absurd

9) Killed Dead
    Oh, good. I was worried about zombies for a minute there. I'm glad you cleared that up for me.

I should also like to mention my bananas have stickers that say "Yum-Yum Potassium" on them. Marketing ploy: Successful.

So, it occurs to me that I haven't posted a list in a very long time. Which is sad, because I like lists. So, in that line of thought, I'm now going to post a list every week.  Cheers are in order.

So, I present the extended list of VAMPIRES!

The Fearless Vampire Hunters, Or Pardon Me but Your Teeth Are in My Neck
Movie. "The old bat researcher professor Abronsius and his assistant Alfred go to a remote Transylvanian village looking for vampires" A massive collection of vampire cliches a humor. Nowhere else have I seen a movie like this. And really, gay vampire anyone? (On further study, gay vampires aren't very original; gay vampires that aren't in porn/porn-like movies are.)

Sunshine ~Robin  McKinley
Book. A beautifully written story in an alternate sort of reality with vampires (inherently evil), angels and fire-somethings. It's got everything, magic, vampire villain, vampire romance and a bakery.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/ Angel
TV Show. You may not like it, you may even hate it; but it is a staple in the vampire pop cult world. A passing awareness is enough, through I strongly suggest watching one of the series (Buffy, at least, I know gets better after the third of forth episode.) If you're a hardcore Buffy fan already, have you seen the movie that inspired it? ( The one with the oh-so-original title of ''Buffy the vampire slayer'''?)

Twilight Series ~Stephenie Meyer
4 Books and some. It's a disease, truly it is. Unfortunately, if you're into vampires and haven't read it, you will be ridiculed. If you read it, you can bash/swoon over it later, if you don't you'll be entirely out of the loop. I, myself, can pinpoint the exact moment I fell out of love with Twilight.

Bite Me! (A webcomic for the distinguished vampire)
Webcomic, no joke. The art may be a little lame, and the story very cliche, but god, I love it still. Not everyone can make fun of Anne Rice and make it tasteful. Set in the time of the French Revolution (main characters? A Revolutionist bar wench and a former lord who's really out of it.) complete with a guest apperance by everyone's favorite killing machine; The Guilotine! Link

Dracula ~Bram Stoker
Book. One of the single most boring books I have ever read; but it's classic vampire lit that would have rivaled the afore mentioned Twilight in it's day. Ever since reading it, I can't take any 'hard-core vampire fans' who laugh when I tell them Dracula had a 'stach seriously (then I insult their knowledge of vampires and get glared at for the next hour and a half.)

Peeps ~Scott Westerfeld
2 Book series. On of the lovely fantasy-diguseded-as-scifi books. The 1st person head-hopping is quite a feat that Westerfeld excels at. While I'm advising scifi vampires, may I suggest 'I am Legend'? I haven't read it yet, though I intend to.

Let the Right One In
Movie, also a book apparently. Vampires, not hugable or kissable, right? This movie has a deeper, more instinctual vampire, who kills to live (but feels bad about it) and is pretty full on violent. I wouldn't advise this to anyone who doesn't like gore and would like to warn about slight child nudity.

Snow, Glass, Apples ~Neil Gaiman
Short Story. It's vampire snow white, except with prostitution, necrophilia, and pedophilia! Not graphic, thought, so your poor, virgin brain won't be overly tainted. I'm just sad I've been one-up'd by Neil Gaiman before I even had time to put my idea to paper. Read it here.

Vampy Cat Play Friend
Short webcomic. Actually a really lame story (only two pages long, as well) but the contrast killed me. Here


( Vampires I Intented to Look Into (This is more of a note-to-self than anything) )

So, as of the 20th, I'm a published photographer. Huzzuh for me! One of my clock piece photos (Mad as a Hatter) got published in One Cool Word magazine. I'm a bit sad that 'Samhain Queen' didn't get accepted, but I suppose I was off by a few seasons. I get a copy of the mag and a CD (they do music at OCW, too.) Still, I'm proud of myself.

They're called hair hats.

I found them today while surfing the web. I found these very inspiring.
 

Well, it was bound to happen eventually...

So, I'm reading an article on how Bill Gates may be autistic and his symptoms are:
Rocking, jumping on trampolines, not making eye contact and not having the social skills necessary to enter a group conversation.

I swear, I did a double take at the bit about trampolines. Since when has a liking for trampolines been a symptom of anything other than vague immaturity?

On another note, the guy in Sinbad is hot when he grows out his hair and wears the not-leather pants.

-Drool-

Just saw the ad for the X-Men movie. Now, I love the X-Men more than most people, but it looks LAME. Gambit doesn't have red eyes! Despite the common opinion in my family, I don't just watch the movies for what's his name, I actually like the story line on a whole, and this movie looks bad.

Which isn't to mean I won't watch it, all the same. I just won't be pleasant about it.

Spent the four day weekend being a total photo slut.  I scoured all my favorite photo websites:
Digital  Photography School
DIYP
GeekSugar
Photojojo

Yeah...more than one hundred pages to sort through and I did it...yeah...

What I should be doing is writing. A seven piece collection of mini-short-stories that are connected. I got this project because I almost (really, really almost) had a mental breakdown when faced with the job of making a biography. I do badly with biographies. Anyway, I'm calling it "Spectrum" an making it a selection on reincarnation. It slowly changes from happy knight/squire dude to suicidal stock broker or something similar.

Any suggestions?